I wrote this in my 3 hour lecture

I have always wanted to be the best. I have always inspired to be somebody that everybody knew and looked up to, however I always hated the title of “role model” and i have always been told being the oldest that is what i was supposed to be, i was supposed to be the example, of what to do and who to be for my siblings. I mean it is not a bad thing however i never intended to be the example it something you get and you either live up to the definition or you mess up. And if you know me you know i mess up we are humans and i am a role model i just have my own tweaks and own little flavor to a role model. I am not perfect. however i think me messing up and embracing them made me a pretty realistic role model i mean because who relates to perfection? like if you do congrats your little bubble protected you from this thing called life and you missed out on some fun times.

You are going to waste your time on something or somebody who was not worth it.

I was rasied and taught about my worth adn my time. I was always told by my dad how pretty,smart, and how i could be somebody important by my dad and just eerybody in my life in general. So when i was complimented it was nice but it was nothing new to me. And as for my time i always knew it was something i was given and it was limited. And i was always told be careful how i spend it and to never waste it. But being  human i did. I wasted it on people and things. I wasted times on the typical cliche of a guy. I was having fun but deep knowing the whole thingwould never go anywhere and it was justa phase and summer romance, now if i had openly admitted that to him and myself and if my parents could have read my mind, they would be like you are sarter then that.  But i wanted to live a little and in the mist of living i had realized one a guys age does ot deifne his maturity, and if you have the feleing of wasting time, leave. I had stayed simply becuase i was not thinking fully. I just wanted something to look back on for the summer as a 18 year old finally on her own and at will with her choices. And i had done the things i had never been able to and it was fun.  This summer i was out and about, i still managed to keep my grades up, but i was doing things i knew were not gonna benifit me in the long run and i had broken my first rule, DO NOT WASTE MY TIME! 



All my college students, hell everybody whos ever got a tax return or refund check you know how this goes. When i get either of these i feel like i won the lottery, i lose my damn mind literally. cashing out is not the word. I work and the refund check was like a present to myself and when i say the cash comes and goes i mean it takes weeeks to get here and days to spend. I am laughing as i write this because my dad has always told me cash burns a hole in my pocekt and it does. As soon as i get it i need to spend it and it is just all bad. However i feel like i can always get it back, because i work and money is always out there ou jsut have to want to go out and work  for it. My whole family have drilled the whole idea of saving and blah blah blah but the blah blah is important. save some of your money and spend what you want, just save more then you spend it is the smartest thing you can do. 


well people i have to act like i am listening again to i hope you enjoyed!

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