Everybody is having kids it seems like, i mean i look all around and i am like ” well then i love my cats.” I am not knocking teenage pregnancy or early 20’s because my parents were young when they had me so that would be the pot calling the kettle black. however i do not plan on having kids anytime soon due to the fact i am still selfish, do not like waking up early, and do not want the responsibility of raising a child when i am still myself growing up. but looking around and seeing all these pregnant people my age, and just going through my days thinking i wish somebody would have taught me this or if i would have knew this before i would have saved myself so much time and feelings. but i always remember time changes and that means people too, so along those lines means society. but i was thinking of the major things i wish i knew so here they are, and i will be telling my children this.
It is okay to feel like the world is against you, just do not let it blind you, hurt and move on.
We are raised and taught to always be appreciative, and caring, we are taught that there are people who have it worse than us and that we need to appreciate all we have while we have it. and i just want to say that is the dumbest thing i have ever heard in my life. nobody is justified to tell another person not to hurt, because somebody else is hurting worse. pain is pain, and i believe many more people need to understand this. i lost count of how many times i would get upset about something and or somebody. and i would get this lecture about how some people do not have homes, parents, clothes all these things. and it made me feel like i was in the wrong for even being upset. and that is not healthy. it is okay to hurt and be pissed off at people. just do not let it change you and blind your judgment. this is my number one thing simply because i have dealt with this since i could remember. i would have things that bother me and get told about these other people but you can not tell somebody to stop their hurt due to the fact others have it worse. pain is pain regardless of the situation. so i will let my future child/children know, it is okay to hurt and be angry i get it.
Do not even attempt to argue with somebody who is talking at you and not to you.
One thing i can say i have gotten better at is talking to people. i have become somebody who is going to say how i feel when i feel it, and i know that can be dangerous however it is human nature to get mad with people and speak out of anger, just know the damage is going to be done, and if you can live with it then speak it. Everybody says do not say mean things but when you bottle up frustrations it eats at you which is way worse then just getting it all off you chest. Another thing i can tell the difference when somebody is talking to me and when somebody is talking at me. I do not respond to people when they talk at me. i will go blank and black out every word coming from their mouth simply because
1. I am not property, i am a human and i do not give respect it is earned
2. I wouldn’t expect somebody to talk to me if i am just talking at them and not to them.
i remember having conversations with people where all they would do is point all the things i do wrong, and how the things i do right aren’t truly right. and nobody wants to hear it and nobody responds to it is just not healthy to even communicate that way. So when somebody tells you all you are doing wrong do not listen and do not take it to heart. you can not argue with a wall, due to the fact a wall can not speak. and people who talk at you and not to you, those people are walls.
You are going to piss me off, and we are going to fight but your secrets are safe with me.
I would kill for an older sister. I have one basically her name is dom, and i tell her everything i go to her for everything and anything and she gets my head on straight and make me get it all together. but i know my future child/children are bound to piss me off by doing and or saying something stupid and there are times when they are gonna come to me and tell me something they did or said, and i won’t use it against them. I’ve had people beg me to talk to them after months of not talking and people say i need to open up more to them only to turn around and tell them thins i told them in confidence and things thrown in my face when we would get into arguments later. I was never really best friend with my mom, that I’ve seen other people have and i just always wanted it. so when i have a child i plan on doing it. and i won’t use what my child told me in confidence and sure as hell won’t throw it in their face. i think people forgot that people talk to people they trust and are comfortable with. family or friends if somebody does not trust you they will not open up and i do not want to be a parent that has to lurk through my childs social media secretly and read text messages just to find out who my child is. i want to be somebody that they want to come to and want to be like. so my child will know they can tell me anything and everything and i will not judge, i may not be happy, but i am not gonna broadcast their information to everybody and it won;t come up again unless between me and them.
You are going to think you hate school, but you don’t just wait till college… it will all be worth it.
” you’re just lazy” is all that i would hear when i would express my hate for school. I was never bullied and or the outcast. i always kept friends and little boyfriends but i hated school. i hated waking up early, i hate being taught lies in history, and i hated math, god how i hated math. only thing i enjoyed about school was the hour and 15 minutes i had in english that was my paradise and was always the highest grade i ever had on my report card. I remember things people said about me and too me when it came to school and when i think back to it all, i get mad. one because i was thinking i was wrong for hating school and i feel as if maybe i was lazy and just didn’t want to work. then i got to college and everything changed. i.e. enjoy school and working on my own time and having to meet only once a day and for 3 hours compared to 7. Another thing everybody is not made for school, if my child/children wants to do art, then paint the best picture you can, you want to be a singer then write the next top 100 hit, if you want to act joint the theater and get into every play you can, fin every extra role out there and sign up. i made a promise to myself i would never be that parent that drill sin my child ” college is the only way”. I refuse to ever mold my future child into somebody that society and my family finds acceptable and productive. I will not tell them they won’t succeed if they do not go to college, and that ” it’s what i expected from you” i won’t shame them at family events and or on social media or to other family members due to the fact i get it. my senior year i didn’t want to go to college i just wanted a break from everybody and everything. i had been drilled my whole life about the importance of school and grades, and getting into a good university on scholarship because my parents do not pay for college. and it just burned me out. i went to college due to the fact i knew i wanted my future children to have a comfortable lifestyle and that i owed myself the bragging right of a college degree,and a 6 figure income. I will teach my future child it is okay to not like school but you’re getting your high school diploma, but college the ball is in your court.
You are never done finding yourself
We are all taught to be ourselves because everybody else is taken. but we as people are never really done discovering who we are as people. we change everyday our feelings shift, our taste and music changes. it is the cycle of life, so i get it when your preferences in things change. I am 19 and i debate on my career choice every other Tuesday. And i could care less about my family making jokes about it, and or telling me stick with something. I AM NOT A SETTLER if i feel miserable and that something is not me i am not obligated by any means to stick around and stay. if it does not feel like you it is not for you. my future child will know to never settle, and go after everything and everything that you want. that is the beauty in life. college taught me all about changing and i will teach mine you will change and it is okay, just work hard for it dabble your feet in it and just know i got your back.
Lastly, a additional thing i will teqach my future child is that i am always most of the time right.