Stupid On My Forehead

In the mist of growing out of shallow ways, I realize some people truly desire me to go back to shallow ways and treat them the way that i perceive them. I have caught myself being treated as if i am stupid, like i do not have a full functioning brain and do not know the difference between anything. And that is where people get me so confused. the famous saying ” you can’t play a player.” And i am not a player i am just smart when it comes to people, or so i like to think. but lately i have been getting a run for my money when it comes to people treating me as if i am oblivious and just all around dumb.  I may not say much, but i notice everything and the one thin cn mg i think i missed the whole time was the word stupid. i am truly convinced i have that in big bold black letters across my forehead that everybody but me can see.

I let the tweets, the side comments, and the texts go cold and just now another thread from a unsaved number to me.what i never understood was how people will continue to do somebody real dirty, but then get mad when they get called out. In October i had convinced myself that this person was worth my time and that was the biggest ” WTFT” what the fuck T’yanna. and it is now december and i see for myself how much i was truly stupid. i am writing this not to bash nor call myself the biggest idiot on the earth but more as a lean from my stupidness so you will not be in the same boat of WTF WAS I THINKING. i found beauty in being stupid, and the lessons that i had learned from the stupid. 

When They Act Like They Don’t Care It Is Because They Don’t

playing hard to get, being a tease, trying to make me chase, oh the excuses we make when people treat our existence like nothing, and just another body on the earth. They do this because this is how they feel and it is as simple as that. 

No Communication Is Communication

do not force it. i had to teach myself this and stick to it and is going to be hard, and it going to suck but as the time passes and the more new people you meet and begin to understand you do miss the actual person but the memories. When dealing with this all you ever want is emotion. some type of action to show that they think of you to, when they show none there is none. and it is hard to understand why somebody you thought was genuine could be so fake and non chalet about their actions. but the lack of communication is communication. 

Never Entertain The Distasteful

Everybody i have missed, comes back and later misses me. I realized people come back when they realize worth and potential. I know i have did it before, and i can say i regret ever doing it. it was one hell of a lesson that i never really told anybody about, and it is one that truly changed me. I was one the side of being distasteful and inconsiderate to somebody who did not do a thing wrong to me, but care. and now being on the other side i get why you should never do it and as well as why you should ignore it. beginning somebody to see your with is selling yourself short. you know all you are capable of and you know you aren’t dirt or average. do not allow anybody to treat you as if you are. to many people on this earth to let one determine your worth and potential. When people act funny, and begins o speak down on you, ignore them they are showing you that you are already ahead of them. 

Time Heals all

in 2011 i was a freshmen who thought i was in love, like i did every year i and seen a cute boy and we had texted for like 3 weeks. then when the communication would stop and we would fall of i thought i would die. like who is ever going to like me like them and who is better then them. i would put myself in this box then put my box in this black hole. But the more i did this to myself and the more that time passed the more i understood the power of time and the beauty in it. this time next year i could be in love with somebody, i could have  kid, i could be married i could be anything, and the people i am worried about, the guy i am writing about can and probably won’t even matter. he will have just become another douchebag that inspired a good blog post and taught me a lot about myself. The more i embrace time and stop running from it, the more i grow and learn. 

Renew Yourself For Yourself

I had this phase where i loved blonde hair, and i knew this guy who had hated it, and him hating it had made me question was it a nice color on me. I had allowed this person to make me question myself and what i am doing in my life as well as with myself. then as that month passed then the month after that and the more me and him argued one pretty things i realized i was feeding the meter. i was giving time to a complete time-consuming joke. While i was trying to see what was for me and what fitted me, he was attempting to make me into this ideal vision of a perfect girl, and i did not fit his vision and i sure as hell do not plan on ever fitting his vision. I like the color blonde, i love the color on me it makes me look festive and is different. he hated it, said it was loud, and just didn’t fit me. and now i realize i may have actually been stupid for even taking his opinion into consideration.  renew yourself for you to better you, not anybody else. 

Somebody Adores Or Will One Day Adore You

We can not build people into the perfect match for us, they already come the way they are and we either build them up or tear them down. When the one we want is not a fit we force, and force to make them the perfect person for us and when we keep forcing we break, and the issue is we should never force. I kid you not there is at least one person who adores you and there is somebody out there right now who you have not met yet but when you do you will know. and everybody you have met along the way will be nothing but another lesson.I have not met my person yet, but I know i will and i know they will probably come in my life as either a tornado or with ease, because that is  my life and how it works. but trust me when i say the one you need is not the one who treats you as if your replaceable and stupid. 

As I look in the mirror i do not see stupid on ym forehead, but when i look back on past decisions i do see stupid labeled on my forehead, but the young and dumb make for the old and wise.  I know it hurts being treated as if you are replaceable and stupid but that is so temporary. Find yourself, renew yourself, and continue living life as you had without them in it. It is the holidays enjoy them. get out and live and embrace that big ass stupid that people see on your forehead, be the person who takes the chances on others, be the person who is not afraid to give love a chance, be the person who embraces mistakes and mishaps, just do not let the stupid make you, you make the stupid. 

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