8 days to get gifts and my life together. Christmas is approaching fast and a in hurry and it does not feel like it is, I am not excited and anticipating it, more stressing the damn day. I need to get gifts and also pay for my new semester textbooks and life is just being a bitch and only gave me 10 days to get it together, and i am getting it together but tis the season i am truly just wanting to end. i want christmas to come and go and new years as well, because i am truly becoming damned by the holidays. holidays are not fun when you are stressing about the upcoming semester, the textbook prices for books you will only use 4 times maybe if you are lucky, and the fact that you work a lot yet money comes and goes. and 2016 overall just been one big ass bitch.
When I was younger i used to wonder why people where so stressed around the holidays, it is supposed to be the biggest and happiest time of the year, but now i get it, and i understand why some people try go insane around this time of the year. Holidays are a reminder of everything and even though we all appear happy and stress free we are all fighting something deep within us. and the holidays have this weird way of making you remember all you are trying to forget.
I know a person who copes with stress by smoking, and I used to think life can not be that bad, and to the point where you have to do that everyday all dat, but then i thought what do i do when i am stressed then i realized i blog. When i am stressed i write and i write, i have over 126 drafts that i have never published from when i wrote when i was stressed. I know some people who do drugs, some who scream into pillows and then i blog, that is therapy that is my drug.
It is so easy to quit. It is easy to think ” I’ve had enough I am done” anybody can quit, not everybody can continue. my semester wrapped up today and i finished with a 3.5. And let me tell you how many times i debated skipping, tricking, and robbing. But i continued on and used my outlet to get by. writing. When i began to think deeper into my addiction and drug the more i realized i need to stop judging other based on theres.