The last time me and my ex spoke we exchanged i hate you’s and i wish you would just disappear and so on and so forth. and my last words to him were ” if you ever see me out don’t speak to me bitch”. And that is where we left it, until early this morning. After going cold turkey one another and unfolding each other on all social media everything was normal to me. i was going to work and school on a daily and he really was not a thought on my mind and i had began to enter my normal routine prior to meeting him and life has been consistent then i answered the phone, and months no talking i actually learned something from who i had thought i hated and could offer nothing to me anymore. had gave me such an insight on a lot.
We have known each other for roughly 6 years now and we basically seen each other as young teens to now young adults. We have been there for all the stupid moments and the smart ones. I got to watch him grow into this person who he would talk about when we were younger and he would always say how he wanted to be somebody who others would look up to and be inspired by, and he has became that person. He does have people around him inspired, he is so established to just be in his 20’s and i had always knew he would be. He is a hard worker, he is the reason i didn’t rip my eyelashes out when i had to take biochem, he is the reason i even made it through biochem because god knows how sucidial i was in that class. he was a person i had always looked up to and was just inspired by him. but life happened we grew apart, and i met other people as did e. And it was that happening that he finally said what i have been waiting to hear since the beginning and wanted to hear in the end.
” I am sorry”
People, do you know how long i waited to hear that from him, do you know how those 3 words made me respect him so much more. In the beginning we did not see eye to eye and we would fight and fight. and in the end it was just hell. I had become VERY VERY VOCAL. I would be on his head about everything and we would just stress eachother out and life was a mess. We both were far from perfect, we were and in a way are still kids, but we both were making each others life an unnecessary hell. So when we had decided just to stop I had apologized for my part and he didn’t. He refused and that was a huge reason we did not speak for months, and why i had moved on to other people, who were just a big ole lesson and I’ve been getting schooled lately. however when he said it i felt this wave of relief and freedom.
He had apologized of this wrongs, and i had forgiven him, even though i forgave him months ago and that was that. He told me to keep up the blogging and i told him to keep focus on his dreams and stay out of trouble, because he is a magnet to trouble and that was the conversation. I had realized the phases i had gone through of saying how i hate him, and how he is a piece of shit, and a dumb bitch were over. the phase of unfollowing him on every social media and cleaning him from my life were over, i had realized he was now a stranger with good memories, and a piece of me as i have of him.
When you truly care about somebody you both in a way become one. I say words that he would say and not he when he hears stupid remarks or sees something wild and ignorant he says ” you wilding”. I catch myself watching his old tv shows and he catches himself listening to Ed Sheerans album X. Which he claimed was trash and was just depressing but now one of his favorite songs is photograph which is my favorite ed sheeran song. Even though we had not spoke in months we still had traits of one another that i do not see going away.
Though we are not together, and probably will never be i wish him the best. And thank him for the time we spent together and the advice he had given me and the pointless conversations and just being him. And most for the 3 words, better late then never but never late is better. So instead of walking around bitter and angry at the world shading each other, the best advice i could give is
Rant let is all out, Bash but in the privacy of your home with friends let it all out and then dash as in, leave the rant and bash in the past. the relationship is over it is done move on. If they come back think before taking them with open arms and just be happy. I know saying “love you ex” is hard to do when you are in the Rant and Bash phase, but let is go. Thank for the time and lesson and most importantly wish them the best. do not be the bitter ex, i know i was and looking back i looked like a clown dashing somebody i would once kill for.
It is Christmas week so be happy and positive and if you need to say i am sorry say it, and if you are owed a I am sorry i hope you get it and get the closure you need and deserve.