Growing up nobody ever teaches us ” how to be the sidepiece”. Nobody ever actually brings it up. you never heard about Cinderella being the “main” while the prince had some brunette baddie on the side. Nobody ever really spoke on the fact people cheat, and that people are down to cheat with somebody who is in a committed relationship. I think the most confusing part about it all is what do you do when the person you are talking to is ” single” in the aspect of the saying it, their social media showing it, their actions showing the same thing, but your gut telling you otherwise? how do you go about it then?
May 27th, 2017 is when I met him. For starters, we met at a party, a huge one to be exact. Now I was raised being told on how not to look for love in the club and so on and so on but wasn’t looking for anything, I was simply at the wrong place at the right time. I honestly would have never talked to him if I wasn’t looking for something to drink. And I needed a certain type of person to get a drink. So I waited and waited then boom one finally showed themselves and it was him.
He told me how it wasn’t ready yet and that he would find me when it was though. This was the first thing that clouded my judgment. this party had easily 200 people plus, this man was not about to come get me just to bring me to the liquor and second, it was a party who the hell remembers the girl who asked were the drinks were at when the party is packed and wild…. the answer ladies and gentlemen is him.
30 minutes had gone by and my friend and I were having fun completely forgot about the drinks and ill be damned here he comes. talking about how the liquor was ready and to follow him, and by following him he held my hand and led the way like looking back this man is a demon that should not be let out and or played with. But anyway we make it to the drinks and we are laughing making small talk, you know typical party convo. SO we get the drinks an go back to dance and that is when judgment vision blur number two occurs……..
A GIRL WALKS OVER TO US AND BEGINS TO SNAP ON HIM…
She started going on how he never texted her back, how he did her dirty, how he was a player, and how he knew he was wrong. At this point, I am kind of standing behind him watching her go off and thinking one of two things the first was
this bitch is insane and delusional
and the second was
this nigga is insane and out his damn noodle to be this bold and open with me at a party knowing he has a girl
so you know me and my goofy ass go with the first thought…. this chick is insane and delusional.
A fight ended up happening with guys like 20 minutes after ironically my friend and I left and he left with his people because I get a text from him saying I want to see you and to come to his kickback. Now I know you are reading this thinking
” you just witnessed him get cussed out by another girl openly for acting a damn fool you really about to go see him like really???”
And the answer is yes because 20 minutes after that text my goofy ass was parked in front of his house ready for this damn kickback and to see my new found boo. And this is where it gets wild
There were 3 other girls there all arguing over where were they going to sleep? who was getting who and what was going down. I walked into a mess with my head completely up my ass because I was so into my new little gem. So I’m kicking it with him talking and all that realizing we both are comfortable and this is the perfect time to ask him about ole girl from the party and see what he has to say, And he did it again… messed up my whole proper vision. He showed me there thread and how the girl was blowing his phone down and how he was not answering, making him look like a complete victim of a crazy stalker chick.
So that night I am in bed thinking I finally got me one, I got my chocolate Denzel of a man who has height on him too a bitch is in bed like she just won the lottery when it hit me, he is doing too much of relationships things and is supposed to be single. So that is when I begin to start conducting my research. about 3 weeks after meeting something told me to search him on social media, didn’t have anything aside from a twitter from 2014 and an Instagram with 10 pictures. Sooooooooo I request it, 1 day passes nothing, 5 days nothing, 1 whole week nothing. So I was like hmmmmmmm interesting he must not use it I guess.
FIRST GOOFY SLIP UP I DID INVOLVING HIM
I ignore it and let it be because he said he was single, he said he was not a social media person so why was I looking for a problem. So fast forward to around July, we see each other again and it is normal nothing seems weird or off aside from the fact I can’t shake the idea he has a girlfriend. But I knew he wouldn’t;t straight up tell me so I was going to have go about it another way which was pillow talk.
I begin to tell him about my upcoming family events and family members and how they annoy me but I love them etc, etc,etc then he begins to tell me about his brothers. and that was my way in. If I couldn’t see on his page I knew I was going to get an in on theirs. so he was talking and I made sure to remember their names because I was going to go full on nancy drew and discover what I knew was out there lurking on the internet somewhere.
The craziest part was in the morning I didn’t even care to look. I knew I was right without the proof and I had realized I was playing myself by even being bothered and or with the guy so I let us die out. in reality, I swear he had blocked me from his phone but we will get to that point in our story soon.
July was the last time I had seen him until January when we ended up at the same party again he was in the door as me and my friends were coming in and he had always seen me blonde but I was black head this night and completely incognito. And something that might set me off to really wonder about him and that was when I re-requested the page. I wasn’t expecting to be accepted but a part of me wanted to know I was not crazy and was right all along when it came to him having a girlfriend, and the following morning I had my answer.
4 pictures of the total on the page with captions and dates proving I was right, and I was just staring at my hone happy yet sad. happy I was right, sad because he was lying to my face with no effort and 2 I actually sorta slightly cared about the guy.
So months passed from January and then there was April and there we were again. except for this time we weren’t such strangers. we had each other on Instagram and he always watched my stories and seen everything I was doing. And it was when he was at the door I had a choice to be mad or ignore him, and I did both. I looked at him starred then looked away.
It truly felt good then at the same time felt bad. I am not a person to hold a grudge and or wish ill on people. my feelings were simply hurt. So at this party, I see him and I am watching him because who knows when I will see him again. probably in the next 5 months. I was doing good with just watching when the one guy came over and started talking to me, and was making me uncomfortable and I looked for a reason to get him to leave me alone and there he was so I ended up saying his name and reaching out for a hug.
While we were hugging I remembered 3 things
- he lied to me
- his skin was still soft as hell and smelled good
- he was truly interesting and not that bad of a person
We ended up spending the night together the night and just talking, it was nice to catch up and talk about things. Though we may never be together and or never run into each other months down the line I enjoyed every time I was around him. He taught me how to listen to myself and trust my instinct, as well as what to do when you feel like the person you are dealing with is in a relationship, that they probably are in a relationship.