How much for your soul?

Rich men never intimidated me, if anything I feel most comfortable around them due to the fact their ego makes them one of the most breakable and predictable person to be around. So many people idolize the rich man in the room as if he is some God amongst men. He has money to fund your college career, houses, cars, money to spend and not lose sleep over upcoming bills or just everyday life expenses. They eat this fantasy that the man with money owns the world when in reality they’re lost within it just like the rest of the 7 billion people in this world.

To keep it real with you, I always had big dreams, and small town men where never my taste, I knew since I was young I had big plans and I needed successful people around me to stay influenced and get to each point I had to. However growing up I never really acted on every opportunity that presented itself to me because I was so afraid of the backlash that would come with it and if it would even be worth the time and effort. But looking back in a way losing the opportunities gave me so much clarity on when to act and when to pass things up.

I was 18 when I crossed paths with my first “millionaire”. I say millionaire because he was making more then a million a year and has a net worth over that as well. And i remember thinking to myself how did we even cross paths, why did we cross paths and what the hell did he even want to do with me? Our conversations were so raw and came so natural. We talked about everything and anything and it was so innocent. Then one day it’s like we just stopped talking and back then for some reason it didn’t bother me, when guys would ghost or leave it was normal, never questioned it I just did my thing and knew eventually another would come around and I was right… more men of his status eventually popped up.

You read articles on the fancy things rich men can buy and the trips they can book and all the fancy super extra things and though it’s true and real nobody ever stops and think about the difference in income, social status, and just lifestyle. My dad didn’t raise me to be dependent or a mans yes men and that’s what a lot of these men look for is a yes men. And there’s a whole other side to “dating up” nobody cares to share because nobody wants to ruin the image or living “their best life”

The hard truth is If you’re flying out you’re having sex. If you’re getting the random expensive gifts and money, you’re having sex or arranged to have or already have sex. And if you’re already together there’s a minimum of at least 2 other girls. It’s a rush to be wanted by somebody who’s rich and famous and can literally pay off all your problems but it’s also something to remember you’re more then sex and material things and money are going to come and go but the morals within you, that’s forever.

So let’s say you fly out you have sex, get a bag and some money. Then you go back home talk to the person here and there and watch them repeat the cycle they did with you, then what? You both talk here and there or not at all anymore. You got a bag though and some money. Or best scenario you continue the arrangement and get nice things for a few months or years then you turn 25 and he drops you for the 19 year old now what? You find a new man? You sell all the gifts you got through the arrangement? You write a tell all? Or does the Non disclosure agreement ban you for ever speaking on the situation? Did you ever stop to think and remember the saying all glitters isn’t gold.

I’d be lying if I said I never thought of using my looks for a profit hell I’d be lying to say if I never used my looks to get me what I wanted out of somebody. But I can say I never sold out, for a couple thousand and a Chanel bag.

I was recently talking to somebody who was well off and he was the first person I realized when they have it and if they really like you and want to do things for you there’s no strings attached to it. You don’t have to be somebody you’re not. I told a few friends about him and one was always shoving the idea of me using him in every aspect he could offer and it sounded like the new come up and a quick one, but did I really want to be that girl? Did I really want to be devious and pretend the whole time for a come up.

I never zoned out of reality as long as I did that night I really thought about it. Like yeah I’d have money, a little fame, a whole new life but I would lose me. I wouldn’t be able to follow people I enjoy following, I wouldn’t be able to wear things that didn’t look a certain way, people would have control of my social media more then me, I would be holding this image of a glamours lifestyle all while feeling lost and empty inside and what fun what that do me. I had to ask myself was losing me worth 15 minutes?

The hard truth is a lot of people idolize a false reality and don’t understand the grass isn’t greener on the other side. There’s more to life then having The body of a Pepsi can, thousands of followers, designer bags, fame and rich men. So so so much more.

Having money doesn’t change the fact that they bleed just like us, they need companionship like the rest of us. And that they are not superior to you. They just found their thing blazed a path and made it to the top, just like you can with or without their help.

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