I don’t want these hoes to surround my vibe. I say this from a relationship and friendship stance. Growing up adults always told you to cherish your youth because it comes and goes in the blink of an eye, and they were right. I felt like I was 18 a month ago and now here I am turning 23 this year. Getting older comes with a lot of changes and one I think people need to prep others for is out growing your friends.
When I was 18 I was wild. Like when I say wild, I was outside any and every opportunity there was a chance to be outside. And as you would figure I met a lot of people from always being out. And from being out and meeting all these people I adopted what some would say is my “type”. And my type is tall, athletic, and paid. Some are all 3 some are 2 of 3 and then others are only 1 of 3. But every man I have ever dealt with had 1 of these 3 characteristics. And the downside of having and obtaining men with these characteristics at such a young age, was I wanted to always talk about it with my friends, and attracted a certain type of people to me that wanted to be friends, and me thinking in the moment and not long term, would allow some of these people in.
At 18 I would be all for discussing my love interests and all we have planned and are doing but at 22 people can choke on cinnamon before they can know who I deal with. It is nobody’s concern who I am dating, hell even if I am dating. I hit a point in my life where I am annoyed when people tie me to ex flames. Free game for you guys is if you can get one millionaire you can get them all. But you should be in the game for keeps not clout, and that is where me and some of the people in my life are starting to see different perspectives.
Believe it or not, my name is T’yanna Tells, but I will never tell the internet when I am dealing with a man with status behind him. I like my privacy and I like knowing that people are in my life and wanting to get to become apart of my life becasue they have a genuine interest in me and not who I am dealing with. If people chased their own goals and had some ambition behind them the concept of being with a man who is a millionaire wouldn’t be a thing that you would write off as a life accomplishment. And before you start to do the name calling and saying how I am capping and all that other shit, just know outside of the idea you created in your head about me. That in reality please excuse my language I just never been a begging ass bitch. Always have and came with my own credinatals and had the work ethic to get whatever I want with or without the millionaire man
Lately I’ve been dealing with a lot of stressful shit, I don’t speak it because I always figure a way out of it and get it handled, but it has come to the point I am over hearing about people’s issues, and never being asked how I am doing. I do not have nor want to make the time to hear about anybody and their minor ass issues. I am my own person before I am anybodies therapist, and people have been crossing numerous lines when it comes to this because I lacked to set a boundary.
Just because I never spoke on it does not mean I never saw it. I take note as to who hits my phone and for the reasons they’re doing it. I blame my big ass mouth I had when I was younger for the relationships I have with people now as an adult. The entitlement I get from people is beyond me. I have people telling me what I want, when I want it. I have people telling me I need to show my “smartside more and show I am educated. I have people throwing their opinions on me as if I’m some type of wishing well. Friends, Family, stranger I do not owe any of yall shit. Nothing. Nobody held me hand and walked me through fafsa or as a first generation college student but have the damn audacity to sit up here and bitch about how I do not show how smart I am enough. And the entitlement do not get me started on the entitlement, I have been wanting to cut people out for months but held on because so many people I love are lost. And it scares me to think of where they’ll end up if I let go, becasue you know stupid loves the company of stupid, and I am ready for my table to have multiple vacancy’s.
Growing up I was so alone, that when I became an adult I wanted company so bad I let anybody and everybody in, and let me say I felt more warmth when it was just me,myself and I. Everything I wanted I have, and I have never felt this isolated ever in my life the way I feel right now. I have so many good things happening and can’t even call anybody because the love I have for them is not reciprocated when it comes to me. I have friends who sit and will discuss me and my business to people they’re having sexual encounters with for what I do not know but they do, I have friends who would rather sit up and sneak diss me on the internet then call me with the number I gave them, that allows them to get in touch with me outside of the internet, I have friends who are in an obvious competition with me, hell I even have friends who want to be me. And the craziest thing is people think you do not notice all the weird behavior,and shade, but I have been taking notes. And I have to take accountability for allowing it to get this far, but in all honesty the house has been cleaning itself out.
When I went through my phase of being “TsoWild” I saw first hand what that money makes a bitch do, and at 18 it was all funny and entertaining but at 22 its truly annoying and walks a thin line between pathetic and bottom of the barrel activity. I say this in the most humble way but ALOT of people need to get ambition and get their money up. It wasn’t until I moved and started to work on goals I had, and network crazy and see results I realized lazy people disgust me. How are you grown and broke? I was lazy as hell looking back and I still managed to accomplish a lot, I can only imagine where I would be now if i had the work ethic and drive that I have now back then.
More people seem to have taken an interest in me when I wasn’t on shit. When all I wanted to do was gossip,party and see who I could pull that was known to be unattainable, people loved me until I started to love myself. I have had too many long conversations with people about the same topics for far to long. I have to many relationships in my life that are active that serve no purpose for me and only drain. The love I have for people is no longer a lifeline for people and their presence to remain in mine.
Believe it or not I love all my friends to death, like to death and that is exactly why I am writing this. I love them but I am not rocking with the way some of them operate. It is no bad blood but we are no longer the same people. I have a million plus things to do and focus on and if you’re not on the same or similar time then you get no time. The shallow shit has to go, I let people play with my name out of love, and it’s just done. I can not force anybody to want to do or be better but say my piece and wish them the best. At 22 I love myself more than anybody and under me is my goals and career and that is the only thing getting my undivided attention. To ask the people I love to change isn’t fair, I want them to grow at their own pace and find their reasons and what makes them happy. I love them and wish them the best, but the chapter is coming to an end and I can not wait to see what the future holds.