Hey Lover, Did you miss me?

Whew, y’all let me tell you, during my little hiatus, I have been living. And by living, I mean experiencing the absolute best and worst that dating has to offer. One minute, I was out here having my way, feeling like the Beyoncé of romance, and the next? I was getting hit with plot twists straight out of a soap opera. Love has humbled me, entertained me, and most importantly given me plenty of material to talk about. And since it’s the month of love, what better way to kick things off than by asking the realest question of them all: Are you the main or are you the side? Because trust me, I’ve played both roles, and let me tell you… the experiences? Nearly identical. Buckle up, because we’re about to dive into the real tea on love triangles, infidelity, and why this whole cycle is a mess.

There’s an unspoken duality in the world of romance that many have experienced but few will openly discuss. Being the “main” and being the “side” are two sides of the same coin different yet eerily parallel. One walks in with the confidence of priority, while the other steps in knowing that, at best, she’s a well kept secret. But both exist in a cycle that won’t end until one makes a choice: to settle for infidelity, to find contentment where they are, or to walk away completely.

Side Chick Chronicles: Thriving in the Shadows of Love (and Low-Key Drama)

Being the side chick is like sneaking into an exclusive club exciting, mysterious, and filled with stolen moments. You get the fun, the thrill, and the sweet nothings whispered in dimly lit parking lots. It almost feels like an affair with a celebrity except the only thing he’s famous for is cheating.

You tell yourself that you’re different, that he really likes you, and that it’s just a matter of time before he leaves her. Spoiler alert: He won’t. Because what’s better than having a woman who loves him and a woman who admires him? Exactly. The math is mathing, and sis, it’s not in your favor.

The Main Girlfriend: Stability, Chill Vibes, and the Constant ‘Are You Really Into Me?’ Moment

Oh, to be the main girlfriend parading around in the confidence of being the one. You have the anniversary dates, the cute couple photos, the official title. You even know his mom! But then…the little things start creeping in. The late nights, the turned-over phone, the sudden passion for “privacy.” And suddenly, you’re not just his girlfriend you’re a part-time detective, analyzing timestamps and cross examining stories like Olivia Benson.

You tell yourself it’s nothing, that every relationship has bumps. But deep down, a little voice whispers: Check his iPad.

The Three-Way Call: Cussing, Chaos, and Who’s Got the Mute Button?

I wish I could say this was a dramatic movie scene, but no. This was real life. One call, three people, and a verbal smackdown for the ages. Picture this: me, the side chick, and him, all on the same line, absolutely tearing each other to shreds. If group FaceTime had existed back then, I promise you, it would have been an episode-worthy disaster.

I can’t even tell you what was said because all I remember is screaming, accusations flying, and at one point, I think I blacked out from sheer disbelief. Here we were, all of us, fighting over a man who was just sitting there, probably sweating bullets and realizing his roster was crumbling before his very eyes.

In hindsight, the most embarrassing part wasn’t the yelling it was the fact that we were all arguing with each otherinstead of him. Girl math wasn’t mathing that day.

The iPad Confession: Caught Cheating, Smacked with Technology, and Realized He Wasn’t ‘Apple’ of My Eye

Now, let’s talk about the time I almost saw God because of an iPad notification. There I was, minding my business, playing Candy Crush or something equally innocent, when a message popped up: “Tell her we slept together, or I will.” EXCUSE ME?!

My soul left my body and came back with vengeance. I didn’t even have time to be shocked I just started moving. Before I knew it, I was all up in the messages, the call logs, the photos OH, IT WAS BAD. Next thing I know, he’s waking up, rubbing his eyes, looking at me like I just set the house on fire. Which, let’s be real, I probably would have if I didn’t value my freedom.

Let’s just say that night ended in a WWE-style battle that neither of us won. Except, maybe the iPad it survived. Barely.

The Time I Took Her Man (And She Gave Me a Intervention I Didn’t Sign Up For)

Now, let’s be real there was one time when I wasn’t just caught in the cycle; I was actively spinning the wheel myself. I took this girl’s man, and I knew exactly what I was doing. It wasn’t even about him I mean, sure, he was cute, but the real prize? The satisfaction of knowing I had one-upped her. The beef between us had been simmering, and this felt like my Alicia Keys meets Angelina Jolie moment. Did I intentionally steal him? Not exactly. Did I knowingly step into a situation where I was more than aware of what was happening? Oh, absolutely. And I made sure she knew it too.

At first, I felt on top of the world. He was wining and dining me, showing me off, and I could practically taste the revenge. But then, sis hit me with words I will never forget. She said, “You’ll see what it’s like to be loved by him. I hope you enjoy your appetite now, because soon you’re going to lose it.” And let me tell you… the way those words marinated in my soul when everything started falling apart? Whew. She knew. The same way he ran to me was the same way he started running from me. The sweet attention? Soured. The little cute gestures? Replaced with dismissiveness. I had entered the chat thinking I had won, only to realize I had just signed up for the same heartbreak on a different timeline.

My Cheating Era: Because Apparently, I Was ‘Player 2’ in This Game

Now, let’s not act like I didn’t have my own moment of being the villain. Did I wake up one day and decide to cheat? No. But did I know he was doing it, know I wasn’t going to leave him, and also know I wasn’t about to sit around crying over it? Absolutely. So, I decided that if he was out there playing, I was going to have myself my own little Monica Lewinsky moment.

At first, it was thrilling. I had my own fun, my own little secrets, and for a moment, I thought I had cracked the code to emotional survival. But then it all blew up in my face. Because, see, in the end, I didn’t just grow to dislike him I grew to dislike both of them. Who cheats on me?! And more importantly, as a man, why are you signing up willingly and knowingly for me to just openly play in your face? Ewwww. The whole situation went from “I got my lick back” to “I think I actually hate all of you.” Lesson learned: revenge is fun until you realize you’re stuck playing the same game with the same clowns.

Two Women, One Heartbreak: Sharing the Same Love, Same Lies, and Same Letdown

At first glance, the side chick and the main seem like opposites. One holds the official title, while the other lurks in secrecy. But they share more than they’d like to admit the waiting, the wondering, the compromise. Both are settling in different ways: one for partial love, the other for love that may not be exclusive.

It’s a cycle that continues until someone makes a choice. Some stay, content with their role. Some accept the nature of the game. And some finally decide it’s time to check out, no longer willing to settle for half hearted love.

Breaking the Cycle: You Can’t Escape Until You Decide to Break Free

No one wins in this game, not really. The only way out is clarity, honesty, and an unwillingness to accept less than what one truly deserves. Until then, the roles will continue, the cycle will repeat, and another woman will step into the same story, thinking it will end differently.

The question isn’t who wins. The real question is: when will you decide to stop playing?