Why “Soft Life” Content Irritates Me and What I Choose Instead

An irrational, irritating thing that truly sets me off and sounds childish when I type this is when I’m scrolling TikTok or Instagram and I see someone’s “soft life” video of them pouring a cup of tea, whispering over the audio about how ever since they “stopped trying” and just “let go,” their life has become soft.

Like… be serious.

As Mel Gibson would say, we do not live in a world that operates on peace and calm. Life will never be soft in a world built on chaos. That’s not realism that’s aesthetic delusion with a soft filter and background jazz.

However, I do believe life can be a journey. And I believe a journey is a series of many emotions. That’s why I’ve used the term soft life in real life but not because I’m delusional enough to think my life could ever be soft.

Nothing in my life has ever been soft. I genuinely think I was born in factory settings as God’s strongest soldier. He gave me the hardest back possible. I could carry a nation on it if needed but I do not want to.

So instead of chasing this fake “soft life,” I shifted my mindset to wanting a life journey where things didn’t always feel so heavy, but I also wasn’t disassociating from the reality of my circumstances.

Because honestly, I don’t want a soft life.

I want a happy life.
I want a fulfilled life.

And to be happy and fulfilled, you will have hard days. Soft will be nowhere on the radar.

So here are some things I did that gave me a journey where I had days so good that Satan himself could come down to Earth and still not ruin my vibe.

Feeling Your Days for What They Actually Are

The first thing I did was start feeling my days for how they truly were.

I stopped starting my mornings in survival mode.

I remember the first day I intentionally decided, “I’m going to move slow today. I’m not rushing myself. I’m not rushing anyone. I’m going to vibe.”

I gave myself 10 to 20 minutes of quiet time in bed after waking up and I didn’t even speak. Which is extremely hard for me, because silence and I are not usually on speaking terms.

Then I decided to try new music instead of my usual R&B and hip hop. I listened to country and alternative. I journaled. I drank tea. And it was wild how much slower time felt and all I did was give myself 30 minutes of my own time.

That day, I didn’t run for the train. I didn’t stalk email replies. I didn’t track who viewed my Instagram story. I was so planted in my own day that I forgot other people were even having days.

That night, I went to bed thinking, “I haven’t felt this carefree in a long time.”

Not because I didn’t care but because I was focusing on myself, my responsibilities, and where my feet were planted.

And I was like… wow. I should probably do this more.

Peace Over Pressure and Saying “I’ll Get It Tomorrow” Without Guilt

The second thing I practiced was choosing peace over pressure.

I used to feel like I needed to finish a month’s worth of work in two days just to get it out of my head only to burn myself out by noon, avoid it for weeks, and then panic complete everything in one night like a sleep deprived raccoon.

I stopped doing that.

I also stopped over-explaining myself to people who don’t deserve access. If I stopped responding, there’s a reason. If I unfollowed you, there’s a reason. I do not owe you a TED Talk.

I learned that silence is an answer.

I stopped analyzing why someone watched my story but didn’t text me back. The answer was right there I just didn’t want to read it. I started acting dyslexic to red flags and then decided to finally get my reading comprehension up.

Between realizing everything isn’t urgent and choosing rest over burnout, I learned that mentally clocking out of unnecessary stress is one of the biggest keys to not letting life beat your ass from sunrise to sunset.

Communication Without Chaos

Another major takeaway for me was communication.

I stopped arguing for sport. If someone said or posted something I didn’t agree with, I ignored it, unfollowed them, or removed them. Peace is more valuable than being right on the internet.

I also stopped taking things personally. Some people are miserable. Some people are uneducated. Some people spread harmful nonsense because they don’t know better and sometimes the solution is not debate. Sometimes the solution is just removal.

When I did respond, I started responding instead of reacting. I wasn’t coming in hot like I used to. I’d say, “Hey, I know this is your perspective, but this is mine, and this is how it harms people. You might want to research that.”

Another big change? Letting people be wrong.

Some people are loud and wrong. Some people live in delusional fantasy lands where they are never incorrect. And you know what? Sometimes you have to let them be wrong in peace. To win the war, sometimes you lose the battle and log off.

I also started saying no. No explanation. No back-and-forth. No negotiating with my blood pressure.

When you control how you communicate, you control your world.

Nourishment Without Punishment

Another huge shift for me was nourishment without punishment.

As I’ve said before, I care a lot about my body and my appearance. I used to have phases where I wouldn’t eat I’d just juice, drink water, and try to make my waist disappear when I turned sideways.

Then my hair started falling out. My nails started breaking. Reality clocked me.

So I started eating again warm, comforting food that felt good. I stopped shaming myself for cravings. I started drinking water because I cared, not because I was forcing myself into a discipline competition.

Drinking water became something I enjoyed because I loved how my body felt afterward.

I started treating meals like a moment, not a chore. I’d put on a good show and cook like Gordon Ramsay was about to critique me on national television.

I gave myself sweet treats when I wanted them. I started feeding myself like someone I actually loved.

And it changed my relationship with food. I stopped seeing food as a reward and started seeing it as fuel something I need to survive and enjoy life.

Soft Life Isn’t Real, But a Softer Journey Can Be

Soft life in real life comes in many forms.

Taking breaks without guilt.
Not tying your worth to productivity.
Letting yourself grow at a human pace.
Celebrating small wins.
Letting your dreams feel exciting instead of stressful.

If you say you live a soft life, what you probably mean is this:

Soft life is ambition without self punishment.

You’re walking away from draining connections.
You’re not forcing relationships.
You’re getting to know people slowly and intentionally.
You’re spending time with people who feel calm, not chaotic.
You’re choosing emotional safety over excitement.

You can call it soft life.
You can call it a life journey.
You can call it a life filled with emotions.

At the core of it all, it’s about doing what makes you feel safe, loved, and protected right where your feet are planted in this exact moment.