Breaking Bad Habits Realistically

Breaking habits realistically is honestly probably the funniest thing I get to write about because I feel like I break habits so unrealistically at the start and then it gets to a point where I realize I have to be realistic about the habit I’m trying to break. It’s like thinking you’re going to run a marathon after sitting on the couch binge watching Netflix for a year. Spoiler alert, the couch wins the first round.

I was going back and forth about the habits I’ve broke and which one I figured I would talk about and I’ve decided to share the most random yet psychotic habits that I have broken. Originally unrealistically and eventually got humbled and had to be realistic about them. Honestly, I looked at myself and thought, who hurt me and why did I learn these habits so well.

So the two that I will be sharing with you today is number one internet lurking and number two crashing out. What I’m about to say may sound funny but I am so serious when I say I started unrealistically to the point that it got so crazy I had to get realistic and get real with myself. And yes, the two can and did coexist together because of course they could. I was lurking to the point it led me to crashing out like a full on Netflix villain origin story. Here’s what I did that led me to stopping both and breaking those ungodly habits.

Number One Replace the Habit Dont Just Remove It

When I was going through the time where I was internet lurking and crashing out it was all I would do. I would intentionally go looking for things that I knew would upset me so that way it could lead me down the yellow brick road to crashing out. I would intentionally spend time building a Rico case so that way when I crashed out on somebody I could be like see this is why I acted like a psycho. Honestly, I was auditioning for a Lifetime special.

And one day when I was building a Rico case I realized that one this is such a waste of good talent for free and two I was doing it because I needed to fill a need. Whether it was distraction, stress relief, or comfort, I was basically running my own mental Netflix drama and starring as the villain, the hero, and the confused side character all at once. So I decided to swap it with something easier. Not perfect, just easier. Enter books.

When I found myself wanting to internet lurk and crash out, I decided I was going to read. I took myself to the library, I checked out books, and I said I’m not going to do that until I finish these books. I ended up reading 17 books. Seventeen. I cried. I laughed. I found myself wanting to fall in love with people who didn’t even exist. I forgot that I was in the middle of the biggest Rico case Boston was ever going to see. The real truth is that empty space invites relapse. Also, libraries are very judgment free zones.

Number Two Make It Slightly Inconvenient

You don’t need superhuman willpower, just small friction. The first thing I did: I decided if I was going to lurk and build Rico’s, I was going to do it on my real account. Yes, I have a finsta, like everybody else. And I decided to use my name, my main account, and let people see that yup, I’m lurking. I did it one time and immediately wanted to die. The thought of someone seeing my name pop up in their story made me want to shrink and hide under a blanket like a cartoon character.

So I decided I never wanted to feel like that again. Small friction, people. It works.

Number Three Focus on Progress Not Perfection

I would be a bald-faced liar to sit here and say after one day of deciding I’m not going to internet stalk and crash out that I never did it again. I relapsed. Frequently. Loudly. Proudly. I would like stories I shouldn’t have liked and go through old posts like a confused archaeologist.

But here’s the truth: missing a day doesn’t mean you failed. The goal was to do it less often, not never again. Consistency beats intensity every time. Slowly, the obsession faded. I forgot this man existed. I forgot I could build Rico cases. I was free, like a bird that realized it wasn’t really a bird but a very committed house cat.

Number Four Understand Your Triggers Honestly

Internet lurking and crashing out were honestly my factory settings. Even as a child, I did this. My first Rico case was against my dad. Nothing like accusing your father of a secret plot because you misunderstood the word “maybe.” Boring, innocent conversations? Suddenly evidence in my head that could put Sherlock to shame.

So understanding triggers is key. For me, the trigger was disrespect. Being bored, stressed, or feeling lied to would activate my inner super-sleuth. Once you know what makes your brain run a Lifetime drama, you can avoid building unnecessary seasons.

Number Five Build an Identity Around Your New Habit

Instead of saying I’m trying to stop, I started saying I’m just not doing that. When I feel the desire to internet stalk and crash out, I remove myself from the situation. The second somebody has that much power to make me go full psycho, I jump off the plane before it crashes.

The identity of my new habit is the ability to disconnect without resentment. Everybody is not going to live up to be who I need them to be and that is OK. God did not make me God, I am not God, so who am I to play God? If people cannot be who I need them to be, then they can just not be in my life. No hard feelings. Just me sipping tea and reading a book like a civilized human being.

The Truth About Breaking Habits

The truth is to break habits realistically you don’t hate yourself. You make better choices that are easier than the old ones. Walking away from people and situations has saved me money, sleepless nights, and possibly my sanity. Sometimes you have to start unrealistically, like a superhero tearing through the Avengers. And then the Avengers show up to remind you that patience, consistency, and realism are actually part of the plan.

Breaking bad habits requires time, self awareness, and sometimes a library card. But it can be done. And you might even laugh at yourself along the way.