So I changed my gym routine like I did my hair between 2015–2018 violently inconsistent and always wavering. One day I was in my peak era, feeling myself in the mirror like “yeah, gym girl era activated!” and the next day I was in the people’s gym looking a whole mess, injuring myself, confused, sweating out my edges and throwing my back out. Twice. Not proud. But we move.

Still, through trial, error, poor decisions, YouTube tutorials, and sheer stubbornness, I learned. I got better. Progress was made. Results were delivered. My back healed, my confidence grew, and I stopped looking like I wandered into the gym by accident.

So now, I stick to these five gym staples every single visit whether it’s a lifting day, cardio day, or a mix of both. These are my non negotiables that keep me snatched, sane, and sweating.

Stairmaster: My Frenemy Since Day One

When I first stepped on this machine, I genuinely thought it was a setup. Level 4 for 30 minutes had me gasping like I was climbing Mount Everest in flip flops. But growth is real, okay? I worked my way up:

• Level 6 for 35 mins
• Then Level 7 for 35–40 mins
• Now Level 8 for 30–45 mins like a certified cardio queen

But just when it started feeling too easy (humble brag), I started switching it up with intervals:

• 10 minutes on Level 8
• 5 minutes switching up Levels 12/11/10/9/8
• 2 minutes of “fake rest” on Level 4
• Finish strong on Level 8

Result? Heart rate stays snatched, calories keep burning, and I still look mildly unwell in the best way possible.

I’m a 12-3-30 Feign. Yes, Feign.

The first week I tried the 12-3-30 treadmill challenge, I was humbled. Humbled like a toddler trying to run with grown folks. But around week 3? Oh, baby I could do it blindfolded, with my arms tied, while listening to Beyoncé.

And because I’m now a certified treadmill twerker, I added my own spicy intervals:

• 12-3 for 60 mins
• 15-2 for 60 mins (She’s THAT girl)
• 6.5-3.4 for 60 mins

All these combos torch calories (400+ each session!) and shape me up faster than a toxic situationship shapes your personality.

Elliptical: The Comfort Chaos Combo

Level 7 for 35 minutes, and if I’m on one of those fancy ellipticals with incline options, I’m doing Incline 15 / Speed 7. It’s the perfect sweet spot burns calories but gives you a break from the soul-snatching nature of the Stairmaster. It’s like the gym’s equivalent of a chill situationship. You still sweat, but you’re not crying.

Cycling: The Machine That Changed Me (And My Quads)

Listen, I used to be a cycle skeptic. Thought it was overrated. Then a boy I was talking to said he did it for training, and in true simp fashion, I tried it too and fell in love (with cycling, not him, he was mid).

Now, cycling is my wrap up workout. It’s cute, quick, and effective. I can knock out a 5K in under 15 minutes, hair still laid, playlist bumping, thighs burning.

Row Machine: The Upper Body Punisher

Let me be real my arms have always beefed with me. But the row machine? Oh, it’s their therapist and trainer in one. No mercy. No games.

I throw on a playlist, dissociate for 20 minutes, and let the machine humble me while chiseling my triceps. It’s not pretty, but it works.

The gym doesn’t have to be this scary, intimidating place full of grunting men and protein shakes. For me, it’s become my escape, my therapy, and my routine anchor. I’m not a trainer, not a fitness influencer, just a girl figuring it out naturally, with no gimmicks, no waist trainers, and definitely no secret lipo pretending it’s gains. Just consistency, sweat, and vibes.

If I can do it, so can you preferably without throwing out your back like I did.