For those who follow me on social media, you already know sports are my lifeline. My first love? Football. Then basketball. But then something strange and mysterious happened in 2023… I fell in love. With baseball. Or a man. Or the heavy poured drinks at Citi Field. Who knows? But whatever it was, the important thing is: I became absolutely obsessed with baseball.

I caught the very end of the 2023 season August, to be exact and that was all it took. One fateful day, I saw Ohtani black out part of the screen with a home run (which, fun fact, is NOT normal and is extremely impressive). From that moment, I was locked in. Didn’t miss a game the rest of the season. I was there for the 2024 home opener. Discovered Yankee Stadium. Practically lived at Citi Field. Out of all the home games, I probably missed maybe 20 if that. Yes, your girl was dedicated.

But baseball didn’t just entertain me it taught me lessons. Deep, soul touching, buffet induced wisdom that I now carry into my everyday life. Here’s what baseball has taught me:

1. Patience Is a Virtue… and Also a Requirement

Baseball is long. Like… long long. And when I found out the pitch clock was a recent addition? I was flabbergasted. We were still there for three hours! One game started at 7:10 PM and ended at 11:07 PM. You haven’t lived until you’re slap-happy at 11 PM in the club, singing to stay awake while Dominican men are banging on tables yelling “FINISH THIS, SOTO!”

Now when life tests my patience, I remind myself: If I can survive Aaron Boone’s decision-making for a whole season, I can survive anything. That’s real growth.

2. Children Are More Irritating When They’re Enjoying Themselves

I say this with love (and a sprinkle of shade) kids at ballparks? A test from the universe. There I am, trying to enjoy my steak quesadilla, and I’m interrupted by a child shrieking “AARON JUDGE! AARON JUDGE!” while violently clapping offbeat for Soto.

But you know what? I became one of them. I started screaming too. (But with decorum, okay?) I yelled respectfully. Outside. In the open. Not in an indoor suite where everyone else is held hostage by my vocal cords. Growth.

This season though? Now that I’m back cheering for my **real team the Mets**I know I’m in for even more screeching sticky finger gremlins chanting “LET’S GO METS” until the silver caps on their teeth fall out. I’ll try to tune it out… until I can’t… and someone gets the Look.

3. If It’s Valuable to You, It’s Worth Brawling (or Slightly Injuring Yourself) For

The way grown men were feening for a wave from their favorite player? INSANE. At first I was like, “Sir, Jazz Chisholm cannot hear you from here.” But then it hit memaybe this is their healing inner child moment. And honestly? I respect it.

You want that ball? That acknowledgment from the ball boy? Go off, king! Just don’t spill your beer on me or knock over my hot dog in the process, or we’re scrapping.

4. My Eyes Are Bigger Than My Mouth (And My Plate)

Let’s talk buffets. Yankees’ Legends Club and Audi Club are a full production. Think STK meets Carbone upstairs, and ballpark meets nightclub downstairs. Your girl was going through steak, lobster tails, oysters, and sushi like it was a TikTok mukbang challenge.

I was eating, alright and too damn much. I was built like a human vacuum cleaner. But no more. This season, I’m eating like I got some home training and not like it’s my last meal. Ice Spice would’ve called me out.

Fun fact: Citi Field’s food lineup was ranked #1 by MLB fans in 2024. Period.

5. Sometimes People Need to Be Told About Themselves

Look I can be loud. Obnoxious, even. But I’m also self aware. Others? Not so much. During the Subway Series, Judge hit a grand slam and we were in full celebration mode jumping, screaming, hugging like we just got rescued from a deserted island. Then some Mets fan troll (and I mean that literally and figuratively) had the nerve to say, “Can you sit down and calm down?”

Ma’am… WE’RE ON THE YANKEES SIDE AFTER A GRAND SLAM. So I channeled my father’s spirit and told her to shut her f***ing mouth, then resumed my joyful hollering. Because sometimes, people need to be humbled. And if I can handle hecklers at away games, I can handle anything in life.

Baseball has taught me patience, resilience, portion control, and how to read a room. The 2025 season is here and I’m READY. The Mets are World Series bound (don’t argue manifest it with me). Can’t wait to see what new lessons this season brings. Catch y’all in October or November, depending how serious this gets.